Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Someone came in the potted fern
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
