you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Randomize