By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
