Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
