I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
