Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
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