i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Even my vagina gasped.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
