i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
