can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
