I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
