I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
