Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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