Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize