That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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