btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
