This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
