Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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