Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize