Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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