Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
