if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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