I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
