Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
