it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
We have started to decorate penises.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
