He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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