i would punch a child for taco bell
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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