Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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