That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
