yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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