They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
