you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
