Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
