I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize