Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
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