I think my vagina is haunted
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Can you bring me the toilet please
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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