You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
