Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
