i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
they're like a gay fantastic four
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
