i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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