honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
