She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
