I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
