it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I got her a Nickelback box set.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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