I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
