Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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