shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
