My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
We are two peas in an std pod
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
