lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
