So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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