Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
