he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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