ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
