Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
