I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
