Nicole vs. Life
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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