So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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