I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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