wanna go halves on a baby?
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
