He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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