A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
