So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
