Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
