Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
