Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
