Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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