I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Screwed.edu
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
