You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
