she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
