It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
