just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I am one with the molecules
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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