my text book just quoted the cookie monster
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
