Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(453): View more from

apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.

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(404): View more from Georgia

Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.

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(408): View more from California

Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it

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(239): View more from Florida

they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out

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(404): View more from Georgia

Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby

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(406): View more from Montana

I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky

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(863): View more from Florida

She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.

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