Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
