at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize