that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I am spending my child support on dildos
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
