I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
