If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
