Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
