Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
