Kiss
Puke
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
