I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
